Before They Called Him Trouble: Before the Name

Before They Called Him Trouble… there was a young boy who believed that one day he would have a successful career.

When he sat around with his peers after school at the corner near his house… the conversations would flow as the group of boys ate flavoured ice packs they bought for R1 or R2.

“I’m going to be a lawyer.”

Another…

“I’m going to be a doctor.”

“I’m going to be like those children’s father.”

Each had their role model… someone they either saw on TV or in person.

Before they called him trouble… he would help his parents when they needed him. He was quite resourceful.

His parents wouldn’t think twice before sending him to the restaurant to buy home items that were missing. He would go… and come back just in time.

Before they called him trouble… he didn’t need to be told what time he needed to be back from his friends. Something in him knew… before the sun fully sets, I must be at home.

It was a law he never negotiated with. Before They Called Him Trouble

When the World Was Small

Wake up… meet with the boys… go to school together… after school, chill at the corner of the house.

Before they called him trouble… his world was small.

But to him… it was big.

Because all the older boys who came before him were still roaming around in the same environment.

As him and his friends sat at the corner, they would see the older boys who were seen as cool in their neighbourhood move from having all the hype in their town… to just being known after they had left school.

Then the group that came after them became the ones with the hype… until they too were replaced by another group.

As the boy grew… he was already taking notes on what he took to be cool and well known. And slowly… that started replacing the dreams about getting a successful career.

Looking back now, I realise the boy wasn’t simply changing his dreams. He was growing up in an environment that had already begun teaching him what recognition looked like. The older boys. The clothes they wore. The attention they received. The way certain names carried more weight than others. None of these things arrived as lessons. They were simply part of the world around him. And when a child spends enough time watching what his environment rewards… he can begin mistaking recognition for success without ever realising where that belief came from… explored deeper in The Streets I Grew Up In.

Another thing he noticed was that everyone from all age groups was still here. Some who used to be successful were now not wearing the same type of clothes they were dressed in while they still had their shine.

But he shrugged it off… and started learning the game.

As he grew older… the conversations between him and his friends started changing too.

When the Conversations Changed

When the conversations changed… it began with the lingo the older boys were using.

So before they called him trouble… him and his peers adjusted to the lingo that was deemed cool. They didn’t know how it originated… or what its main purpose was.

As long as they understood what they were saying, they didn’t care. Because it was spoken in their environment… and that alone made it sound cool to them.

Looking back now, perhaps the boy was learning more than a new way of speaking. He was watching how the people around him behaved, what they accepted and what seemed to earn recognition. The language became familiar because everyone used it. The behaviour became attractive because the people he admired carried it. Psychologist Albert Bandura explored how people can learn through observing others, a process explained through social learning theory… explored further in American Psychological Association’s educational material on social learning theory.

Then next… the boys weren’t discussing passing tests anymore.

Instead, that was replaced with… who has the most expensive outfit?

Because in the environment of before they called him trouble… being rich wasn’t based on income. Assets. Or long-term generational wealth.

It was based on who had the most expensive clothes.

You had the most expensive clothes… you were automatically rich.

The boy figured that his parents weren’t going to buy him enough clothes to earn him respect around his peers and community.

So instead… he first decided to stop paying for transport. He started hiking to school in the mornings… and hiking back in the afternoons.

It worked.

He sacrificed school… got the expensive clothing… and got the respect.

His name started gaining traction amongst his peers… the older boys… and most importantly… girls. Before They Called Him Trouble

When It Worked

With his new recognition and fame… before they called him trouble felt like something in him changed.

First, he felt like he had won at life.

Now he started feeling like he was above the ones who did it before… as their reputations took a nosedive.

One thing he told himself was that he would never allow himself to nosedive like the ones before.

Plus… he was different.

At least, that’s what he told himself.

To his parents… he was still the boy they knew. So the parents didn’t see the change happening.

But once he walked out of that house… he was somebody totally different.

And if you weren’t on his level… he looked down on you.

When he got sent by his parents to the local stores… he’d make it back home in time.

The only thing that started changing… was what in time meant.

First… 10 minutes after the sun had settled.

Then 30 minutes.

Then an hour.

Then an hour and a half.

That’s probably the first time the parents started noticing the pattern.

And when asked… the boy knew which face to pull out.

The parents believed him.

Because standing in front of them… was still their little boy

The Rules He Bent

He was now invited to hang around much cooler boys… and older boys.

As he spent more time around them, he began learning that being cool wasn’t necessarily about disrespecting your parents. It was also about teaching your parents… you’re not a young boy anymore. That you can come home anytime you want.

Then one night… before they called him trouble paused as a question followed him.

“So you’re hanging with us? Alcohol, girls…before school tomorrow? Or are you going home because of bedtime?”

Before he could answer… one of the girls intervened.

“No, don’t pressure him. Let the boy go home.”

In those few seconds… before they called him trouble watched the reputation he had worked hard to build begin to crumble.

Then he made his decision.

“I don’t have a time I need to be home. Plus, besides…my parents already know I get down like that.”

They didn’t.

He switched off his phone. Because he knew his parents were going to call… and that too could damage his reputation.

So he stayed the whole night.

The following day… his grades dropped as another failed test went to his name.

But to him… it was worth it.

School had eventually become less important. And once again… the sacrifice paid off for him.

Because his reputation went up.

The boy still enjoyed going to school… just not for getting good grades anymore.

He enjoyed going because of something else he had found there.

His new status. Before They Called Him Trouble

The Boy They Still Knew

The following morning… he eventually went home.

The same house where once upon a time… he knew he needed to be back before the sun fully set.

To his parents… this was still their little boy.

The same boy they could send to the local stores when something was missing at home. The same boy who would help when they needed him.

The same boy who once knew what time he needed to be home… without anybody having to tell him.

That boy was still there.

At least… that’s who his parents knew.

Outside the house… another version of him was becoming known too.

The one whose name was gaining traction. The one with the expensive clothes. The one older boys were starting to recognise. The one girls were starting to notice.

The one who could stay out the whole night and tell the people around him:

“My parents already know I get down like that.”

Then eventually… he would go home.

And once he was home… he was somebody’s son again.

That’s what made the change difficult to see.

He didn’t wake up one morning and become somebody his parents couldn’t recognise. He could still walk through that door… talk to them… help when they needed him… and look like the same boy they had always known.

But outside… something else was working too.

And the strange thing was… both versions answered to the same name. Before They Called Him Trouble

Conclusion: Before They Called Him Trouble

Years later… people would have a name for him.

They would know the way he dressed. The people he hung around with. The reputation that followed him. The version of him that eventually became easier to recognise than the boy who came before it.

And somewhere along the way… they would call him trouble.

But trouble wasn’t sitting at the corner eating R1 or R2 flavoured ice packs with his friends.

A boy was.

Trouble wasn’t sitting there talking about the successful career he would have one day.

A boy was.

Trouble wasn’t helping his parents when they needed something at home.

Their son was.

The same son who didn’t need to be told what time to come home. Something inside him already knew… before the sun fully sets, I must be at home.

And maybe that’s what becomes difficult to remember once somebody’s reputation becomes bigger than the person carrying it.

People meet the name… without meeting everything that happened before it.

They see the expensive clothes. The confidence. The reputation. The people around him. The boy who walks like everybody knows who he is.

But they don’t see him watching the older boys before him.

They don’t see the conversations slowly changing. They don’t see him learning what gets respected. They don’t see the first sacrifice that works.

Then the next.

Then the next.

There was no morning where he woke up… looked in the mirror… and decided to become somebody else.

There was no announcement.

No single moment where everybody around him could point and say… there.

That’s when the boy disappeared.

Because he hadn’t disappeared.

He could still walk back into his parents’ house… and be their little boy. Then walk outside… and become somebody else.

For a while… both could exist.

Under the same roof. Inside the same body. Answering to the same name.

Until eventually… one version became louder.

Loud enough for the community to recognise. Loud enough for people to forget there had ever been another one.

But before the reputation… before the status… before the nights became longer… before coming home stopped meaning what it once meant… before everybody knew what to call him… somebody already had a name for him.

Son.

Mpumelelo Ncwana writes about the psychology behind decisions, identity, and the systems that shape behaviour.