Introduction: South African Upbringing:
South African Upbringing: I don’t believe in luck.
I don’t believe that it only takes one blessing from the universe to change the world.
I believe it takes something much bigger.
A village.
A community.
Towns, cities, and families connected through generations.
That is where the true spirit of Ubuntu lives.
The understanding that every single one of us has a role to play, no matter how small that role may seem.
One person teaches discipline.
Another teaches compassion.
Another teaches responsibility.
Individually those lessons may seem small.
But when the pieces come together, something extraordinary happens.
A generation is built.
The kind of generation that we as South Africans hope to see rise in the future.
This type of architecture is not built through validation.
It is built through understanding how the mechanics of life actually work.
And when I tell this story, I hope you begin to see something clearly.
I am not lucky.
I am the result of a South African upbringing built by a village.
The Mothers Who Built My Foundation
Throughout my life, there were women who shaped my thinking, discipline and compassion.
Some were family.
Some were teachers.
Some were simply women who stepped into the role when the moment required it.
Each one planted something inside my subconscious mind.
Khalane: My Grandmother: South African Upbringing
My grandmother Khalane was the first mother in my life.
Her home was built on discipline.
Children woke up early.
Respect was non-negotiable.
Responsibilities were clear.
But she was also a strategist.
During the COVID lockdown, when cigarettes were banned across South Africa, she adapted quickly.
She sold cigarettes individually.
She sold alcohol.
She brewed traditional drinks.
While many people panicked, she moved with calm calculation.
Without realising it, she was demonstrating the same principle that exists in markets today.
When chaos appears, opportunity follows.
Hanki (My Grandmother): South African Upbringing
My grandmother Hanki represented something different.
Patience.
Consistency.
Quiet strength.
She reminded me that not every leader needs to be loud.
Sometimes the most powerful presence in a family is the person who simply remains steady.
Rakgadi Dimakatso(My Aunt): South African Upbringing
Rakgadi Dimakatso became one of the pioneers of our family.
She pursued education and became a nurse.
But she did not climb alone.
She lifted others with her.
She supported family members.
Guided younger relatives.
Encouraged education within the family.
She embodied the true spirit of Ubuntu.
Your success is never yours alone.
It belongs to the village that helped build you.
Myrah ( My Mother’s Friend ): South African Upbringing
Not every mother in life shares your blood.
Myrah was one of the women who showed me that community motherhood is real.
Sometimes family extends beyond the boundaries of biology.
And when communities function properly, children grow up surrounded by many protectors.
Mama Joys (Aftercare Teacher): South African Upbringing
Mama Joys, Aftercare caretaker , taught me a simple lesson that stayed with me for years.
My parents used to pack peanut butter sandwiches for lunch.
I hated them.
So I began throwing them away.
One day she caught me.
Instead of shouting, she told me something quietly.
“Give them to me. There are children who would appreciate them.”
That moment taught me gratitude.
Mrs Saayman (The Teacher Who Built Confidence)
Mrs Saayman gave me my first moment on stage.
She encouraged me to perform a rap song at school.
At that time I had never written a song before.
But she believed in me.
During the performance I dropped the microphone and hit a breakdance pose.
The crowd exploded.
Confidence entered my mind that day.
Sometimes a single moment during a South African upbringing can change a child’s life forever.
Mrs Potgieter (The Teacher Who Saw Potential)
Mrs Potgieter saw potential in me when I was still quiet and reserved.
Years later, before leaving for university, I visited my old school.
My younger sister handed me a card she had left for me.
I still keep it today.
Encouragement echoes longer than people realise.
Mama Difoloko (My Setswana Teacher)
Mama Difoloko refused to give up on me when I struggled with Setswana.
She pushed me until I improved.
But more importantly, she warned me about certain friendships that could lead me down the wrong path.
At the time I didn’t understand.
Years later I realised she was protecting my future.
Fedi (My Aunt )
Rakgadi Fedi represented unity within the extended family.
Her support helped strengthen the family structure that raised us.
And in communities where families remain united, children grow up with stronger foundations.
The Fathers Who Guided My Direction
Just as important as the mothers were the men who shaped my understanding of masculinity, purpose and responsibility.
Tata (My Grandfather )
My grandfather was calm and wise.
Every morning he made tea.
But he had a ritual.
He would pour the tea slowly between two cups until it cooled.
Back and forth.
Like rainfall between cups.
Small moments like that remain in your memory forever.
Before he passed away, he told me something powerful.
Seek wisdom from elders while they are still alive.
Brother John (Mentor )
Brother John transformed my after-school waiting time into study time.
Soon other students joined.
It became a small learning circle.
From him I learned something simple.
A man without purpose slowly loses direction.
Tah Magic: My Uncle
My uncle Magic built his house with his own hands.
Brick by brick.
Watching him showed me something powerful.
A man must build his life the same way.
Piece by piece.
Bra Tlhokez ( Guidance Before University)
Before university I faced a decision.
Forex trading or University.
Bra Tlhokez sat me down and helped me see my options clearly.
He did not force me.
He simply showed me possibilities.
That conversation shaped the direction of my future.
Malome Dongo (The Mirror)
Malome Dongo corrected mistakes differently.
He never shouted.
Instead he spoke calmly.
Later, when you were alone, the lesson would hit you harder than any punishment.
That is real authority.
Uncle Tshiwi (Discipline and Brotherhood)
Uncle Tshiwi taught discipline through behaviour.
He drinks alcohol.
But only during the right moments.
Never recklessly.
Watching him taught me something powerful.
Control is the real form of discipline.
But the deeper lesson came from the brotherhood between Tshiwi and my father Nkonzo.
Their loyalty to each other showed me the strength of family bonds.
The Love Mirror
Many people ask why I describe myself as a one-person lover in my “Breakup That Built Me” series.
The answer is simple.
The subconscious mind stores information long before we consciously understand it.
And growing up, I witnessed relationships that shaped my understanding of love.
My Mother and My Late Father
My parents fought hard for our family.
They sacrificed most of their income to send us to good schools.
We were not rich.
But we had movie nights.
Occasional trips to the mall.
Those small luxuries felt special.
They taught me something important.
Appreciate the small things.
Rakgadi Dimakatso and Tah Magic
Their relationship remains strong to this day.
They recently renewed their vows.
Watching them build a family together showed me that commitment can last generations.
Khalane and Tata
My grandmother cared for my grandfather during his final days with devotion I had never seen before.
She bathed him.
Fed him.
Helped him move.
Watching that as a young man broke my heart.
But it also showed me the type of love I would want one day.
Tshiwi and Fedi
Their relationship also shaped my understanding of partnership.
Their unity, their support, and the way they raised my cousins left a deep impression on my subconscious mind.
They also helped support my mother while she financing my education during my university days.
Moments like that remind me of something important.
I am not lucky.
I am blessed.
Conclusion: Unity
Looking back, I realise that I was never built by one person.
I was built by a village.
Each person planted a different lesson.
And when those lessons come together, something powerful begins to form.
A generation rises.
That is the power of unity.
As Nelson Mandela once reminded the world, our strength has always lived in the spirit of community and shared responsibility.
That is the power of a South African upbringing built by a village.